I consider myself a helpful person and I will prove it to you once more by helping you make the best resolutions for 2015.
Here are the most sensible commitments I gleaned on the Internet that I will unselfishly share with you:
* I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
* I will also do less laundry and wear more deodorant
* I will go to the gym more than twice this year.
* I will lose between ten and three thousand pounds.
* I will get two friends to start smoking… that way I will feel less guilty when I drink too much.
* I will regularly check that my family is still alive in the next room
* I will stop twitting from the toilets
* I will not try to teach my wife to fly out the window when she gets on my nerves.
* In 2015 I will continue my red wine, pasta Alfredo and fast food diet, but in the bio mode
* I will think of a better password than “password” or “hello”.
* I will learn what the word “resolution” means.
And finally, I wish that the fleas of a thousand mangy dogs infest the ass of anyone who messes just one second of the new year and that this moron’s arms become too short to ever scratch.
Happy new year ! Frohes neues Jahr ! Bonne année à tous ! Buon anno ! Feliz ano nuevo ! С Новым Годом (S novim godom)
Your devoted friend
Alain
PS : In 2014 you sent me your best wishes. It did not work.
For 2015 send me cash instead. Thank you.
