Henry Wessel

A few days ago I played pétanque with Henry Wessel and this guy is really starting to get on my nerves.
When you are a pétanque “rookie” you are supposed to play like a rookie.
When shooting for instance, out of sheer respect for your elders, you ought to miss at least two out of every three shots.
But this guy doesn’t play by the rules! He shoots to kill and he is ruthlessly accurate.
No “boule” is safe from this maniac! This has got to stop!

Henry started playing about a year ago, and in a very short time he has blossomed into a very talented player.
He can now point like René (his Zen master) and shoot like Antoine (his Godfather).
But I suspect foul play.

Lately, Henry has made numerous trips to the East Coast, even to Europe, and I speculate that under the cover of business, he is secretly seeking help from pétanque pros.
This is not fair!
When you are a plebe, you are not supposed to do well within a single year.
You are supposed to throw lousy shots and get tutored by older Mustache Petes.

Regardless of their ability, Young Turks are required to show respect to their elders by words and deeds. And losing to them is a sign of respect!
Kissing the hand of their elders is the way it is done in the old country and traditions ought to be preserved.

Don Fulmini: Enrico, Enrico. What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you’d come to me in friendship, then this scum that wounded your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.

Enrico: Be my friend. Godfather.

Don Fulmini: Good. Someday, and that day may never come, I’ll call upon you to do a service for me.

Enrico: Si, Padrino!

Don Fulmini: Bene, bene… Then, from now on, you will lose two games out of three when you play against me.

Enrico: Si Padrino. Mille grazie.

Don Fulmini: And you will be amazed by how many games you will win playing against better players… Don’t thank me now… the day might come when I’ll call upon you to do a little favor for me.
Watch your steps Enrico… and don’t tell anybody we had this little conversation!

Alain la Foudre