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Rosh Hashanah

I suddenly became aware that Rosh Hashanah is upon us.
Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish 5773 New Year. Whoa!
According to Wikipedia, Rosh Hashanah started September 4, at sunset and will end September 6 at nightfall.

I am not very familiar with this kind of observance mainly because I am what you might call a  “fallen Jew”.
Just like a “fallen woman” I have lost my innocence “and have fallen from the grace of God.”
Like Eve, I was expelled from Eden for having the audacity to take a bite of the Forbidden Fruit. I reached for Knowledge and I lost my innocence.

Many people (mainly the hatted and bearded ones) conspire to keep you in the dark side of the moon, permanently turned away from the light of Knowledge.
The less you know they say, the better off you are.
If you press them with questions, they will feed you some obscure mumbo-jumbo and forbid you to cross-examine their assertions.

I could never accept this and that is why I am a constant thorn in the flank of the religious establishment.
I want to know why and how.
And I don’t want to hear of any “miracles”.

The minute somebody starts giving me improbable explanations, I lose patience.
The French say « Ce qui se conçoit bien, s’énonce clairement. »
What is well understood can be clearly stated.
In other words, a few well-chosen words should suffice to explain anything clearly.

God, according to monotheistic faiths, knows everyone of us. He knows who is good and who is bad, and he will punish the evildoers.
Pardon me for saying, but this is a mighty task.
The IRS (and its many desk jockeys) is struggling to keep accurate records of a few million people, so you can imagine how difficult it would be to keep track of about 6 billion people.

And all these wretched souls are constantly pestering him with demands.
They all want special favors.
Their mantra is “give me, give me”.
If I were God, I would be tired of this… and I think that he is.
That is probably why he answers so few prayers.

Me, knowing how busy he is, I don’t bother asking him for anything and I don’t trouble myself following any of his edicts.
It is an amicable arrangement and so far it has worked well.

Rosh Hashanah marks, I am told, the anniversary of the creation of Adam and Eve, or in lay terms the beginning of the world.
On Rosh Hashanah, God opens “the books of judgment” and examines the file of each individual person.
Again, a mighty task.

“Judgment” is then “pending” and prayers and repentance are required.
In my case, I would take too long to atone for all my sins, and I am not that patient.

It is probably because I am not patient (or gullible enough), that I don’t believe and abide by any of these biblical fairy tales.

In any case, it is not too late for you sinners to repent. You have until Friday night.
Make the best use of it.

Me, I’ll be playing pétanque.

Alain 

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