It was a kiss to level mountains and shake stars from the sky. It was a kiss to make angels faint and demons weep… a passionate, demanding, soul-searing kiss that nearly knocked the earth off its axis. Lisa Kleypas
Whoa! This is what I call a kiss! But let’s go back to our story.
In case you forgot, La Pétanque Marinière was founded in 1972. It was the brainchild of 5 homesick French guys named respectively Charlie Davantes, Louis Toulon, René Di Maio, Marcel Parnell, and Jean-Louis Bontemps.
Rene, Marcel, and Jean-Louis passed away but the club lives on.
Despite its current diversity, the club has undeniably French roots and many of its rules and customs derive from the French culture.
At la Pétanque Marinière, when we show up on the field we kiss all the ladies. This old observance is called “faire la bise” (kiss – on both cheeks). It has nothing to do I haste to say, with the notorious “French Kiss”.
This ritual is fine and dandy, but we are now facing a case of “Force Majeure”; a condition that takes precedence over all previous customs.
Due to the flu epidemic that is sweeping the mainland, we will now forgo la “bise” and greet each other with a very fashionable Fist Bump. It is painless and looks very cool. If it is good enough for a (classy) President it is good enough for us.
Don’t try to sneak up on anybody and steal a kiss. Penalties could be severe. If you must, you can blow a kiss but you cannot make skin contact. You cannot plant your lips on somebody’ else face; it is not kosher anymore.
I know that this is going to be difficult for some kissing enthusiasts, but you will have to control yourselves. Germs are everywhere and ready to leap on you and conquer your body. Remember, loose lips sink ships. Don’t torpedo your team with unbridled passion.
If you absolutely must kiss somebody, use Skype… or any other application.
We might soon have to wear a surgical mask but I draw the line at slipping into a niqab or a “burqua”. I am deadly allergic to these garments.