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- « Only Satan can grant man the faculty of expelling smoke through his mouth »
- It is not children on the back seats who create accidents, but accidents on the back seats that create children.
- You should not be afraid of horses under the hood, but of asses behind the wheel.
- “Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” Woody Allen
- Cash flow: the movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
- If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
- If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
- Atheism is a non‑prophet organization.
- Attorney: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
Witness: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
- Sign in a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the women who are employed to clean the rooms.